With fingernails that shine like justice...

and a voice that is dark like tinted glass, she is fast, thorough and sharp as a tack. She is touring the facility and picking up slack...

Sunday, November 13, 2005

*Pucker up and kiss it, Whoville

In years past, the Xmas season started when Santa Claus appeared at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. He would ride down the streets of New York on his parade float, Xmas songs would start playing, and people were finally allowed to start their Xmas shopping. What the fuck happened?

Yesterday we went to the Tacoma Mall because Blaine needs new sneaks. Being November, I wasn't at all suprised by the appearance of seasonal mall decorations being up. I've come to expect it. I don't like it, but have resigned myself to it.

That is....until....we rounded the corner at JCPenney's....and saw Santa's Seat....

WITH SANTA'S FAT ASS SITTING IN IT!!!

A line of children waiting to have their wishes heard and pictures taken by bored teenagers in elf costumes twisted its way around the snowy banks of the North Pole and Santa's Work Shop.

I froze. My mouth dropped open. I was stunned. "What?! The?! Fuck?!" Its the ELEVENTH of NOVEMBER!" , I said out loud to Hubs. And within earshot of small children. "This. Is. Just. WRONG....." Shaking my head slowly..."Un. Fucking. Believable."

Hubs looped his arm in mine, and gently guided me away from the horrible sight, grinning a grin that told everyone...."Yeah, she said what you thought she said..."

As I was led away, still in shock and in disbelief....I heard the tiniest Cindy-Lou Who voice say...

"Mommy? Whats a unfuckingbelievable?"

*waves mistletoe over ass