posting on a comment

Its probably cheating, but I really don't care.

This is a comment I left over at Feministe, about the sexualization of girls.

We are in the process of trying to find clothes for school right now. We are having a tough time of it…everything seems to show something. Tshirts are too short and show the belly, and pants hang too low on the hips to reveal would be back tattoos and require children to where thongs. Its enough to drive a parent insane!! If the fashion industry isn’t trying to sexualize my 12 yr old, they are trying to pimp her out by making her wear clothes with their logos and brands plastered all over them….

I don’t know what is worse…having my daughter dressed sexy, or having her be comfortable and relentlessly teased for dressing “like a dyke”….just what the hell is that supposed to mean, anyway?

And school uniforms are not the answer, either….remember Brittney?

I’m eagerly awaiting the potato sack to come into fashion.

I am fortunate that Blaine has her own individual style. She likes to shop at thrift stores. But finding clothes that fit her can be a challenge, no matter if its new clothes from Old Navy or used at SVDP. She is short, with short legs. She is curvier than most her age(baby got back, just like her mom). Blaine is pretty modest and doesn't care for a most clothing offered to girls right now. Girls' sizes are too tight in the butt, and juniors' woefully too long, that hemming would ruin the flared effect she likes. This awkward, "in between" stage is trying, to say the least.

Lately, shopping has turned into an emotional roller coaster, wrought with tears and angry outbursts. It has all been capped off with pubescent bemoanings of "I hate my body", "Nothing will fit me, ever" and "This friggin' sucks"

It pains me to hear these words coming from her lips. I have tried so hard to teach her to accept herself, but somehow, those seeds of self doubt, planted by every magazine at the checkout, seem to have taken root.

Last summer, this wasn't even an issue. She still had a boyish figure and was wearing a size 12. Suddenly, she has erupted into a womanly shape, and she hates it. I find myself hating it too. Or, at least, hating what it has done to her self esteem.

Telling girls they are not defined by their bodies is easy when they are wearing clothes that fit easily and comfortably. But now, its a whole other thing. Forever gone are the days of merely checking the tag for a 12, or holding up a shirt to see if it fits.

I miss those days.
I miss them terribly.