SEVEN THINGS

things
I plan to do before I die:

1. Go to my wake...its a family tradition
2. Go to Fiji...or some other tropical paradise where its okay to be fat
3. Fry on sugar cubes dosed with liquid LSD....one last time
4. Not give a shit what my mother thinks...like thats gonna happen
5. Witness my only child fall in love with her true soulmate
6. Get a tattoo...I just haven't found the perfect design or perfect artist yet
7. See Blaine on the cover of Rolling Stone

things
I can do:

1. Use a public toilet without touching it...one of the most valuable lessons my Mom ever taught me
2. Leave the house without make-up
3. Pay for playground equipment with soup labels
4. Make a gourmet meal out of Top Ramen and leftovers
5. Fight for my rights now, so Blaine will have rights later
6. Bend all my fingers at the first knuckle
7. Recite the lyrics to every CAKE song...after explaining that CAKE is a VERB, not a noun....as in, to cake it on

things
I can’t do:

1. Drive without music...if alone, drive without LOUD music
2. Anal sex...so quit asking, Hubs
3. Vote Republican
4. Light a gas grill without it going--PWOOF!
5. Listen to music without bobbing my head or tapping the steering wheel
6. Keep long fingernails...I said they shined...I never said they were long
7. Shop at Walmart(is the devil)


things
I say most:

1. I hate this couch
2. I love you, PunkyButt
3. Iced grande, quad shot, sugarfree mocha...nonfat, no whip, 2 straws
4. Are you bleeding? Is the house on fire? Then why are you talking to me while I'm ON THE PHONE?!
5. I love you, Bob...uh..Hubs...I love you, Hubs...heh heh
6. I'm gonna fold those clothes today...really
7. The light is green...would you FUCKING GO?!

Thanks to HM Hussy over at Recreational Use for tagging me...normally I don't do memes, so the tag stops here....steal it if you want, but I tag nobody.