Dear Mr. Chatty,

Thanks for the perfect accompaniment to dinner! It was such a pleasure to hear your loud typing and incessant Yahoo IM notifier. It was equally enjoyable to watch you contort your face with OOohhs and AAhhhs, toungue flicking and lip biting.

The only way it could have been creepier, was if you had been in the children's section of the library on a public computer.

My only consolation was that I was sure you were unknowingly chatting with her.