Bop Dee Bop Bop

OUCH!

My first derby injury...I left a little elbow skin on the rink. There are also huge bruises on both my knees. My next purchase will definately be a helmet and pads. I didn't think I'd be getting rough just yet, but it looked so fun...so I just said "Fuck it! Whats the worse thing that could happen? " and went ahead and joined in a little blocking exercise....I'm sure I will regret that decision tomorrow. It fucking rocked! I loved it.

The other women are really cool, and everyone is really supportive. I really think this is going to be huge. This is just what I needed.

I'm going to take a handful of ibuprofen and have a glass of wine, then off to bed...I wonder if I will be able to get out of bed without anyone around to help?

Family Values?

So...estrangement, disownerment and judgement are family values now? I didn't know that.

*HT-Crooks & Liars

Not exactly the magazine cover I dreamt about as a teenager...

Not exactly the "A-list" I dreamt about, either...

But a cover and story I'm proud to be a part of...



If not for my right to do with my body as I saw fit, my life would, most likely, have ended by my own hand 22 years ago. I questioned myself for a long time...was it really a rape? Or had I played some stupid game and come out the loser?

No.
It. Was. Rape.
And I would not let him rape me for the term of a pregnancy OR for the rest of my life. My life is MINE.

I am forever grateful that I was allowed to make things right...to continue my life the way I intended. He took a lot of things from me that night, but he couldn't take that.

I thought about typing his name. Hoping that he, or someone he knows, would see it. But its a common name. And he knows what he did. Nothing I type now will change that.

I have never felt the urge to speak or write about this before....until a few months ago, when I got an email from Ms. Magazine with a request for women who have had abortions to give their names publicly. It was an impulse. One that I couldn't deny.

I emailed them my name.

A few weeks later, I got a phonecall to confirm all the information I had provided. I told the woman on the other end..."Thanks. I feel like I can let it go now." She thought I meant guilt over the abortion, and told me I had nothing to be ahamed of...but she misunderstood. That is one decision I will NEVER regret making.

What I let go of that day was a secret. A secret, that if left untold, could put my daughter in the same postion I was in all those years ago. Alone and scared. I have to make sure that won't happen to her.

We haven't yet had the conversation...I'm still working it out in my mind, and waiting for the right time...for when she is able to wrap her mind around it. She already knows what I think of a women's right to choose, she just doesn't know that I know about tough choices, firsthand. She is smart, I imagine she has already figured it out. My hope is that she will never have to make such a choice, but that if she ever has to, she can.

You mean they aren't a real couple?

I feel cheated.

Crossing the Narrows

I just held the camera out the window, facing backwards, and snapped. Pretty cool, huh?



*Thanks for all the tips! Click on picture to embiggen. Look!...You can see Mt. Rainier on the left, through the cables.

I have found MY PEOPLE

And they are derby girls!

I skated today and I ache to the very core of my being. After skating, I watched a pratice and enjoyed every single second of it. I can't wait to skate with these ladies.

The season just ended and the league is brand new, so we probably won't have any "official" bouts until next year. Until then, we train.

Now all I need is a rollergirl name. Any suggestions?

10 Things

from the last month....in no particular order...

• Blaine was voted 7th grade Vice President!!
• Our town now has a new skating rink!
• After a 20 year hiatus, I tried roller skating again. I was on a speed team as a kid. I still got it.
• I was asked if I'd be interested in joining a new roller derby league. OH YEAH! I'm SO there.
• Blaine finally decided on a Halloween costume. To my bewilderment, it is not gorey, dead or zombified....she wants to be a Forest Faerie...a woodnymph. WTF? Who the hell is this kid?! Where's my deep, dark, mysterious, brooding Blaine?
• I had the stomach flu for 3 days. While I was in bed dying, Hubs let us run out of toilet paper...of course...I found out while sitting on the toilet, shitting my insides into the bowl, while nobody was home. FUCKER.
• My parents are going back to LA to build another Habitat house in December.
• I have become addicted to Heroes. and BSG (Thanks, Bennet).
• My LCD monitor took a shit and I'm too cheap to buy a new one before Xmas. Everything appears wavy on screen...anyone feeling generous?
• I finally picked the last of my tomatoes. They were plentiful and delicious! This summer will always be known as "that time we grew tomatoes as big as a baby's head".
  
  

"What remains is future."

Goodbye CBGB

P.S.S.

P.S.S....Dude...Its not a Post Secret if you don't tell the secret.

I don't know why....

but blogging just isn't doing it for me lately...

I haven't even kept up on reading your blogs. Sorry.

Maybe I need a break, or maybe I need a med adjustment.

I don't know.

P.S.S.