Its been almost a year....

Since I started roller derby....
AND
We're FINALLY having OUR FIRST BOUT!!! An exhibition interleague bout...I was picked for the RED team. RED....Like the blood we will spill. We are bouting the PURPLE team. PURPLE....Like the bruises we give them.

Finally. After almost a year of grueling practices....injuries....new and wonderful derby friends.....fundraiser after fundraiser....appearances in parades....write ups in the papers....Finally.

We have one last fundraiser before the bout....



THEN



I'm uber excited!! Giddy, even.

3K!!

Our first benefit was a success!

The bands were awesome...even more so, because they did the gig for nothing! I think Neutralboy and Season Of Nightmares are definitely on my list of favorites now. Not just because they rock, but because they are super cool and were very generous to give up a lucrative weekend night to help us out.

The spanking and kissing booth was a huge hit. Although nobody really wanted to kiss the girls....they wanted them to kiss each other. Buttons were given out to those who made donations for the booth. There was a choice of button, depending upon what you had paid for...

"Spanks A Lot!" & "S.W.A.K."(think 8th grade)

The group date auction was wild, with more money generated from the black market sale of dates after the actual auction had ended...."I'll donate an extra hundred bucks, if you trade dates with so & so"... Many of the girls were "won", then promtly put up again by the winning bidder...it was really hilarious.

The night, although a revenue boom for the league, was, personally, a shitty night. Hubs got shitaced drunk, then got pissed at me for what he perceived as neglectful behavior on my part. I was busy running the merch table and noticing that it appeared to be boring him, so I suggested that he go mingle(there were plenty of people there he knew). He took it as though I was trying to get rid of him and he said some loud, drunken, hurtful things. I'm still pissed at him. He hurt my feelings,embarrassed me, and was generally acting like a dick. I hadn't realized that he had drank so much or that the drinks were so strong, because I had only been drinking Skinny Roy Rogers (Diet Coke & grenadine)all night.

He left for work this morning, hung over and out of sorts from the time change. I hope his temples throb all day long.

You are all invited!!

click to embiggen!!

The Portland Wrap Up

Holy crap. I can't believe it took me more than two days to recover. The pain and hangover were well worth it!

I have a renewed energy and drive for derby greatness, now that I have witnessed it live. It is truly awesome and I HIGHLY recommend that everyone seek out and attend a roller derby bout in their town. You won't regret it.

The skill and finesse with which these ladies skate is pure and athletic. The bouts themselves, are more like a fast moving, full contact chess game, rather than an all-out cat fight on wheels, like some people may think. It is just as much about sacrifice as it is about speed and blocking. Taking penalties is more about gaining the upper hand than it is about unnecessary roughness.

Hopefully, I will, one day, be half as good as the ladies we saw.

After the bout, we went to the fore mentioned Outlaw for the after party. It sucked, so we went half a block up the street to Union Jack's. A very cool strip club featuring Suicide-type Girls, with lots of piercings and tattoos. I'm not a strip club regular and far from an aficionado, but this place was awesome! The highlight of the evening was a stripper named Porcelain, who came out and did her act on....wait for it....ROLLER SKATES!!! The place, which was wall to wall derby girls and devotees, went flippin' ape-shit. I had the best time.

I never thought that I was the strip club type, never really thought about it much. But I had a blast! The dancers were not raunchy like I thought they would be. It was very campy and Burlesque-like, and watching pole dancing is akin to watching Chinese acrobats. Sure they were naked, but after the initial flush of embarrassment, I ceased to notice. Dancers, coupled with the best chocolate martini I've ever had, will be making UJ's part of every Portland visit from now on.

Go Rat City!!!!

A bunch of us Roller Vixens are going to caravan down to Portland to see Rose City Rollers VS. Rat City Rollergirls. We'll be cheering on our favorite Grave Danger team member, Sake Bomb. Before the bout, maybe I'll drink a few for luck!!


We leave in the morning. The day's agenda:

• Steak & Titties at The Acropolis
• Checking into the fleabag....The Jupiter was full, yo.
• The Bout
• Debauchery at the after party


A well rounded, Rollergirl day, indeed!
And super duper bonus....the fleabag is less than a block from the after party, so we can crawl back to our rooms with no problems!!

Who was that woman at the bar Saturday night?

Oh. Holy crap. It was me.
And as ACW pointed out, it was not only my first time doing karaoke, It was also my first blotto blog session. Double yeah!

I blame derby girls. They are a horrible influence on me. Just look at the debauchery...Here's NicRoll FeelYa and some hot derby ass....neither of which is mine, by the way.



I think my first tattoo is next on their agenda.