GIRLS ROCK! Opens March 7th!!!!

Hey! Thats my kid on guitar!
Blaine has been going to Rock'n'Roll Camp for Girls every summer since she was 9 (she'll be 14 soon) and it has made a profound impact on her life. RRC4G gives girls a safe place to find their voice, raise it up and express themselves in ways that empower them.

As a parent, it is astounding to see the transformation that takes place over the course of one short week. At Camp's concluding showcase, these once shy, little girls take the stage as seething musical behemoths whose hearts and voices refuse to go unheard. It is absolutely beautiful.

Go see this movie.
Yes, it is THAT IMPORTANT.

Oh!....And look what else she's been up to....

Introducing, the world's next best thing to Rock Camp.....JUNIOR ROLLER DERBY!!!



Thats my kid....otherwise known as Whamsday Addams, of the The Kitsap Derby Brats. I'm head coach, by the way.....

I really need to...

do some house cleaning. This blog is a mess.

Well, no Cake show, but the guy that got the tickets had a blast....I'm glad at least someone had fun.

We were VERY lucky...only having missed a show...the rain, flooding, mudslides & trees falling made the lives of many here horrible. There's a huge sink hole in town. The highway into town, along the water, is closed indefinitely because of a huge mudslide. We drove around yesterday to survey the devastation. Its pretty bad...and we aren't even in one of the places hardest hit. That storm was insane. I almost came unglued when we were in Starbucks...I overheard a guy comparing what has happened to KATRINA...what an asshole. So what if a tree fell on your car...you did not lose EVERYTHING. You didn't get uprooted, you got inconvenienced, you asswipe.

We are deep in the throws of planning our next bout, slated for Jan. 25th. I'm super excited and have a shit-ton(thats a technical term, by the way)of work to do. Friday...thats tomorrow, right? We are having a fundraiser at a local bar. We're collecting toys for needy families...and spreading the derby gospel, looking for new recruits and hopefully making us some $$$.

This derby business has got my head spinning. I never knew it would consume my life the way it has. But its good, I'm busy and active, out & about. It has been a strain on my marriage at times, but from what I hear, its not uncommon...just like wives whose husbands are super into sports like softball...they feel neglected. It's difficult to find that balance. I've tried including Hubs, but he just doesn't seem to be into it...maybe if he could skate it would be different... a lot of husbands ref, or coach. I think he feels even more left out now that Blaine has started Junior Roller Derby(which by the way, I think will be as important in her life as Rock Camp).

"THEY" have bled us dry. We are done. I'm boycotting xmas this year. The last straw was when we were at the mall, in Macy's, on NOVEMBER 2ND...and I heard xmas music. I'm done. The commercialism has RUINED it for me. We are getting a small tree, decorating it only with lights, and only getting gifts for Blaine...and even then, we are not going overboard. Blaine and Hubs both think its a great idea. No gifts for every family member, friend and friend's kids, no cards, no decorations outside(except for a plain natural wreath on the front door) no huge, elaborately decorated tree like usual, just a small, potted tree with lights...we are keeping it SIMPLE...Going back to what xmas is supposed to be about...FAMILY. I'm so much more relaxed...I forgot how FUN xmas could be. I think this will be a good thing. We may even do something nice for a local family...maybe xmas dinner or something.

Anyway...thats it for now. Don't feel neglected if the postings are slow...at least I'm posting, right?

I'm not dead....

just REALLY REALLY BUSY with the all consuming world of roller derby. Its kinda like heroin...you can't just take a taste.

More soon.

I promise.

Its been almost a year....

Since I started roller derby....
AND
We're FINALLY having OUR FIRST BOUT!!! An exhibition interleague bout...I was picked for the RED team. RED....Like the blood we will spill. We are bouting the PURPLE team. PURPLE....Like the bruises we give them.

Finally. After almost a year of grueling practices....injuries....new and wonderful derby friends.....fundraiser after fundraiser....appearances in parades....write ups in the papers....Finally.

We have one last fundraiser before the bout....



THEN



I'm uber excited!! Giddy, even.

Apparently, I'm NOT a multi-tasker

I've been SO busy with derby latetly, doing fundraising and whatnot, that I've neglected my blog and my bloggy friends.

What sucks even more is that I'm not even skating right now...during spring break, I fell and hurt my knee....pretty badly. I tried skating it off right away. That was stupid. I tried R.I.C.E. for several weeks before trying to skate again...but still the pain is horrible and just gets worse with every stride on the rink. I went to a sports medicine doc, because my regular doc just told me I should STOP doing derby(WTF??). I had an MRI last week and I go in today to hear if surgery is warranted. I'm almost positive it will be. He's pretty sure I have a torn meniscus and that I bruised the femoral plateua pretty severly....

I hope the news is good and that even with surgery, I will be back on skates in no time.

Oh...and Blaine is at Camp....The showcase is at the Bagdad Theater in Portland on Saturday night. She's super excited.

ON HIATUS

Until further notice....

You may have already noticed...life, derby, family, the kid, and my poor time management skills are getting in the way of below average quality blogging, so I'm taking a break...I'll still be around to check up on you all now and then.

It won't be long...I'm sure I'll have something to bitch about soon enough.

What a dick.

If you badmouth something, at least make sure you know what you are talking about.

Ha!!

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a secretary and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and dinner cooked.

The second man had married a school teacher . He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a rollergirl. He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher."

3K!!

Our first benefit was a success!

The bands were awesome...even more so, because they did the gig for nothing! I think Neutralboy and Season Of Nightmares are definitely on my list of favorites now. Not just because they rock, but because they are super cool and were very generous to give up a lucrative weekend night to help us out.

The spanking and kissing booth was a huge hit. Although nobody really wanted to kiss the girls....they wanted them to kiss each other. Buttons were given out to those who made donations for the booth. There was a choice of button, depending upon what you had paid for...

"Spanks A Lot!" & "S.W.A.K."(think 8th grade)

The group date auction was wild, with more money generated from the black market sale of dates after the actual auction had ended...."I'll donate an extra hundred bucks, if you trade dates with so & so"... Many of the girls were "won", then promtly put up again by the winning bidder...it was really hilarious.

The night, although a revenue boom for the league, was, personally, a shitty night. Hubs got shitaced drunk, then got pissed at me for what he perceived as neglectful behavior on my part. I was busy running the merch table and noticing that it appeared to be boring him, so I suggested that he go mingle(there were plenty of people there he knew). He took it as though I was trying to get rid of him and he said some loud, drunken, hurtful things. I'm still pissed at him. He hurt my feelings,embarrassed me, and was generally acting like a dick. I hadn't realized that he had drank so much or that the drinks were so strong, because I had only been drinking Skinny Roy Rogers (Diet Coke & grenadine)all night.

He left for work this morning, hung over and out of sorts from the time change. I hope his temples throb all day long.

Whats the coolest thing you did this weekend?

I named a rollergirl...

Aimee T. VilHorror.

You may now bask in my rollergirl naming greatness.

Our New Logo!!!!

click to embiggen

Visit Slaughter County Roller Vixens.

The Widower

Roller Derby seems to have taken over my life. But in a good way. Except for one thing...Hubs, who was SO into me doing it at first, has now started calling himself a "Derby Widower". Funny how he forgets about the widow I once was. He'll go back to thinking its cool when we start bouting and he can point and say "That's MY WIFE."

I've been working on a fundraiser for the league. Let me know what you think...

I contacted the local Harley dealership and asked if they knew anything about setting up a poker run...I thought it might be a cool idea for a derby benefit. The guy on the other end got all excited and was more than eager to help us. They have offered the use of their facility, which includes, a BBQ, outdoor tables and an outdoor stage. They will DONATE all the food(burgers and hotdogs) and sodas!! We will ask for a donation of $3 for a hotdog and coke....and we get to keep all the proceeds!! One of the derby girls' dad is in a ZZTop tribute band, and they have offered to play the event for free. All of this is in addition to the poker run, which will have a $20 entry fee...we're doing a 50/50...that means half goes to prizes, and half to us! Isn't it amazing what can come from a single phone call and a question?

We figure it will make so much, that we've decided to include a charity in the event. We will be donating a portion of all proceeds to The Seattle Cancer Care Alliance at Children's Hospital. It can't hurt to improve the image of roller derby. There a lots of people out there who don't recognize it as a legitimate sport. Some people actually think its just a catfight on wheels, by skating whores in fishnets. Idiots.

Another good thing came from that call. Erin, the receptionist that answered the phone, was the first to field my question....which she countered with tons of her own. After we talked, I invited her to join us at practice that night. She showed up and was awesome! This chick can fucking skate. She's gonna be a huge asset to the league.

Well, I'm off to do laundry...of sorts. I'm gonna try and wash all my derby pads...they smell putrid. Luckily, I don't have practice again until Sunday, so they will have plenty of time to air dry. I'm putting my helmet in the top of the dishwasher for cleaning. It stinks pretty bad, too. Hopefully that will work. At this point, its clean it or buy a new one....because I don't think I could put it on my head again without gagging.

I haven't weighed myself since I posted about the inadvertent weight loss, but I'm confident that I've shed a few more....I'm trying to resist the urge to get on the scale and check. Maybe I'll have a cookie instead.











Kidding, of course.

Shittles

A few weeks ago, I was complaining that I'd been busting my ass at derby for the last 3 months and hadn't lost one single, solitary, fucking pound...It was pissing me off. I don't like scales, and hadn't weighed myself since.

Last night some of the girls commented that it looked like I'd lost some weight. I just rolled my eyes and said,

"Shyeah, right, whatever."...
and continued on with practice.

When I got home, I stepped on the scale for shits & giggles(forevermore referred to as "shittles"), lo and behold...

I've lost 17 pounds!!

I don't want to sabotage myself by getting to excited about it, though. Because honestly, I'm not doing roller derby to lose weight.

I'm doing it because I like to hit people.

You are all invited!!

click to embiggen!!

We made the paper!!

Roller Vixens!!

The Portland Wrap Up

Holy crap. I can't believe it took me more than two days to recover. The pain and hangover were well worth it!

I have a renewed energy and drive for derby greatness, now that I have witnessed it live. It is truly awesome and I HIGHLY recommend that everyone seek out and attend a roller derby bout in their town. You won't regret it.

The skill and finesse with which these ladies skate is pure and athletic. The bouts themselves, are more like a fast moving, full contact chess game, rather than an all-out cat fight on wheels, like some people may think. It is just as much about sacrifice as it is about speed and blocking. Taking penalties is more about gaining the upper hand than it is about unnecessary roughness.

Hopefully, I will, one day, be half as good as the ladies we saw.

After the bout, we went to the fore mentioned Outlaw for the after party. It sucked, so we went half a block up the street to Union Jack's. A very cool strip club featuring Suicide-type Girls, with lots of piercings and tattoos. I'm not a strip club regular and far from an aficionado, but this place was awesome! The highlight of the evening was a stripper named Porcelain, who came out and did her act on....wait for it....ROLLER SKATES!!! The place, which was wall to wall derby girls and devotees, went flippin' ape-shit. I had the best time.

I never thought that I was the strip club type, never really thought about it much. But I had a blast! The dancers were not raunchy like I thought they would be. It was very campy and Burlesque-like, and watching pole dancing is akin to watching Chinese acrobats. Sure they were naked, but after the initial flush of embarrassment, I ceased to notice. Dancers, coupled with the best chocolate martini I've ever had, will be making UJ's part of every Portland visit from now on.

Go Rat City!!!!

A bunch of us Roller Vixens are going to caravan down to Portland to see Rose City Rollers VS. Rat City Rollergirls. We'll be cheering on our favorite Grave Danger team member, Sake Bomb. Before the bout, maybe I'll drink a few for luck!!


We leave in the morning. The day's agenda:

• Steak & Titties at The Acropolis
• Checking into the fleabag....The Jupiter was full, yo.
• The Bout
• Debauchery at the after party


A well rounded, Rollergirl day, indeed!
And super duper bonus....the fleabag is less than a block from the after party, so we can crawl back to our rooms with no problems!!

The Cure

Do you have it?
A cure for the "I suck at derby blues"......

I seem to have not only stalled, but REGRESSED. Not merely stagnating, but DEVOLVING....GETTING WORSE.

Sure, everyone has a shitty practice now and then. I can understand that. But this has gone on for the last 4 or 5.

Do I lay off for a few days or make myself skate every available session I can find? Do I quit?

Its killing me because this is something I'm supposed to be good at doing. And right now, I suck at it.

At the rate I'm going now, I will never pass requirements.

Its demoralizing.

For Snay

LEGO ROLLER DERBY!!

Broken finger

But there is STILL NO CRYING IN ROLLER DERBY!!!