I really need to...

do some house cleaning. This blog is a mess.

Well, no Cake show, but the guy that got the tickets had a blast....I'm glad at least someone had fun.

We were VERY lucky...only having missed a show...the rain, flooding, mudslides & trees falling made the lives of many here horrible. There's a huge sink hole in town. The highway into town, along the water, is closed indefinitely because of a huge mudslide. We drove around yesterday to survey the devastation. Its pretty bad...and we aren't even in one of the places hardest hit. That storm was insane. I almost came unglued when we were in Starbucks...I overheard a guy comparing what has happened to KATRINA...what an asshole. So what if a tree fell on your car...you did not lose EVERYTHING. You didn't get uprooted, you got inconvenienced, you asswipe.

We are deep in the throws of planning our next bout, slated for Jan. 25th. I'm super excited and have a shit-ton(thats a technical term, by the way)of work to do. Friday...thats tomorrow, right? We are having a fundraiser at a local bar. We're collecting toys for needy families...and spreading the derby gospel, looking for new recruits and hopefully making us some $$$.

This derby business has got my head spinning. I never knew it would consume my life the way it has. But its good, I'm busy and active, out & about. It has been a strain on my marriage at times, but from what I hear, its not uncommon...just like wives whose husbands are super into sports like softball...they feel neglected. It's difficult to find that balance. I've tried including Hubs, but he just doesn't seem to be into it...maybe if he could skate it would be different... a lot of husbands ref, or coach. I think he feels even more left out now that Blaine has started Junior Roller Derby(which by the way, I think will be as important in her life as Rock Camp).

"THEY" have bled us dry. We are done. I'm boycotting xmas this year. The last straw was when we were at the mall, in Macy's, on NOVEMBER 2ND...and I heard xmas music. I'm done. The commercialism has RUINED it for me. We are getting a small tree, decorating it only with lights, and only getting gifts for Blaine...and even then, we are not going overboard. Blaine and Hubs both think its a great idea. No gifts for every family member, friend and friend's kids, no cards, no decorations outside(except for a plain natural wreath on the front door) no huge, elaborately decorated tree like usual, just a small, potted tree with lights...we are keeping it SIMPLE...Going back to what xmas is supposed to be about...FAMILY. I'm so much more relaxed...I forgot how FUN xmas could be. I think this will be a good thing. We may even do something nice for a local family...maybe xmas dinner or something.

Anyway...thats it for now. Don't feel neglected if the postings are slow...at least I'm posting, right?

ON HIATUS

Until further notice....

You may have already noticed...life, derby, family, the kid, and my poor time management skills are getting in the way of below average quality blogging, so I'm taking a break...I'll still be around to check up on you all now and then.

It won't be long...I'm sure I'll have something to bitch about soon enough.

Ha!!

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a secretary and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and dinner cooked.

The second man had married a school teacher . He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a rollergirl. He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher."

3K!!

Our first benefit was a success!

The bands were awesome...even more so, because they did the gig for nothing! I think Neutralboy and Season Of Nightmares are definitely on my list of favorites now. Not just because they rock, but because they are super cool and were very generous to give up a lucrative weekend night to help us out.

The spanking and kissing booth was a huge hit. Although nobody really wanted to kiss the girls....they wanted them to kiss each other. Buttons were given out to those who made donations for the booth. There was a choice of button, depending upon what you had paid for...

"Spanks A Lot!" & "S.W.A.K."(think 8th grade)

The group date auction was wild, with more money generated from the black market sale of dates after the actual auction had ended...."I'll donate an extra hundred bucks, if you trade dates with so & so"... Many of the girls were "won", then promtly put up again by the winning bidder...it was really hilarious.

The night, although a revenue boom for the league, was, personally, a shitty night. Hubs got shitaced drunk, then got pissed at me for what he perceived as neglectful behavior on my part. I was busy running the merch table and noticing that it appeared to be boring him, so I suggested that he go mingle(there were plenty of people there he knew). He took it as though I was trying to get rid of him and he said some loud, drunken, hurtful things. I'm still pissed at him. He hurt my feelings,embarrassed me, and was generally acting like a dick. I hadn't realized that he had drank so much or that the drinks were so strong, because I had only been drinking Skinny Roy Rogers (Diet Coke & grenadine)all night.

He left for work this morning, hung over and out of sorts from the time change. I hope his temples throb all day long.

Conversation on a couch

I'm curled up at one end of the couch. Hubs is stretched out, reclining on the other end, his feet resting against my thighs. We are watching No Resevations. I fucking ♥ Anthony Bourdain.

Hubs gently pushes me with his feet, nudges me.

I ignore him, thinking he's adjusting, to get more comfy.

nudge, nudge.

There it is again. I continue to ignore him.

NUDGE, NUDGE.

What?! Why are you doing that?!

Hubs grins.

What.ever.dude. I roll my eyes and continue watching TV.

NUDGE, NUDGE, NUDGE!!!

What??!! What the fuck do you want??!!

Nothin'. I just like watching your boobs jiggle when I do that.

The Widower

Roller Derby seems to have taken over my life. But in a good way. Except for one thing...Hubs, who was SO into me doing it at first, has now started calling himself a "Derby Widower". Funny how he forgets about the widow I once was. He'll go back to thinking its cool when we start bouting and he can point and say "That's MY WIFE."

I've been working on a fundraiser for the league. Let me know what you think...

I contacted the local Harley dealership and asked if they knew anything about setting up a poker run...I thought it might be a cool idea for a derby benefit. The guy on the other end got all excited and was more than eager to help us. They have offered the use of their facility, which includes, a BBQ, outdoor tables and an outdoor stage. They will DONATE all the food(burgers and hotdogs) and sodas!! We will ask for a donation of $3 for a hotdog and coke....and we get to keep all the proceeds!! One of the derby girls' dad is in a ZZTop tribute band, and they have offered to play the event for free. All of this is in addition to the poker run, which will have a $20 entry fee...we're doing a 50/50...that means half goes to prizes, and half to us! Isn't it amazing what can come from a single phone call and a question?

We figure it will make so much, that we've decided to include a charity in the event. We will be donating a portion of all proceeds to The Seattle Cancer Care Alliance at Children's Hospital. It can't hurt to improve the image of roller derby. There a lots of people out there who don't recognize it as a legitimate sport. Some people actually think its just a catfight on wheels, by skating whores in fishnets. Idiots.

Another good thing came from that call. Erin, the receptionist that answered the phone, was the first to field my question....which she countered with tons of her own. After we talked, I invited her to join us at practice that night. She showed up and was awesome! This chick can fucking skate. She's gonna be a huge asset to the league.

Well, I'm off to do laundry...of sorts. I'm gonna try and wash all my derby pads...they smell putrid. Luckily, I don't have practice again until Sunday, so they will have plenty of time to air dry. I'm putting my helmet in the top of the dishwasher for cleaning. It stinks pretty bad, too. Hopefully that will work. At this point, its clean it or buy a new one....because I don't think I could put it on my head again without gagging.

I haven't weighed myself since I posted about the inadvertent weight loss, but I'm confident that I've shed a few more....I'm trying to resist the urge to get on the scale and check. Maybe I'll have a cookie instead.











Kidding, of course.

A note to the fellas...

Okay. Let's get one thing straight here. Rubbing your prick between the cheeks of my ass at 4:30 in the morning does NOT qualify as foreplay. Also, when I refuse moves that shitty, you have no right to get pissed.

Find The Smell

I hate that game!!
It went something like this:

FG(sitting on couch, after practice): What's that smell? It smells like feet and ass!

Hubs: maybe its you.

FG: I'm serious, what the hell is that smell?

Hubs: I'm serious, maybe its you.

FG: Are you sure its not your feet?

Hubs(grinning): Are you sure its not you?

FG gets up, smells self...not good,but not the offending odor...smells couch, smells dogs, smells dog bed, gives Hubs the once-over, picks up and (*KIDS: Do NOT try this at home!) smells Hub's motorcycle boots, smells coats on rack...catches whiff of odor again.....

Drops to knees on floor....almost loses after-practice snack...
FG: Its the fucking CARPET!!

What followed was a barrage of questions.

What the hell made the carpet stink in that one spot? Is it from your rain gear dripping on the floor?(I'm pretty sure thats it, I told him to hang that wet crap in the garage, btw) Have you worn your workboots home(remember, he's a meat cutter)? Why did we get rid of the steam cleaner again?

Then, it got comical...
Why are you grinning at me?! Can't you fucking SMELL that? You think this is FUNNY?!?

Hubs(with a straight face): I still think its you.