I really need to...

do some house cleaning. This blog is a mess.

Well, no Cake show, but the guy that got the tickets had a blast....I'm glad at least someone had fun.

We were VERY lucky...only having missed a show...the rain, flooding, mudslides & trees falling made the lives of many here horrible. There's a huge sink hole in town. The highway into town, along the water, is closed indefinitely because of a huge mudslide. We drove around yesterday to survey the devastation. Its pretty bad...and we aren't even in one of the places hardest hit. That storm was insane. I almost came unglued when we were in Starbucks...I overheard a guy comparing what has happened to KATRINA...what an asshole. So what if a tree fell on your car...you did not lose EVERYTHING. You didn't get uprooted, you got inconvenienced, you asswipe.

We are deep in the throws of planning our next bout, slated for Jan. 25th. I'm super excited and have a shit-ton(thats a technical term, by the way)of work to do. Friday...thats tomorrow, right? We are having a fundraiser at a local bar. We're collecting toys for needy families...and spreading the derby gospel, looking for new recruits and hopefully making us some $$$.

This derby business has got my head spinning. I never knew it would consume my life the way it has. But its good, I'm busy and active, out & about. It has been a strain on my marriage at times, but from what I hear, its not uncommon...just like wives whose husbands are super into sports like softball...they feel neglected. It's difficult to find that balance. I've tried including Hubs, but he just doesn't seem to be into it...maybe if he could skate it would be different... a lot of husbands ref, or coach. I think he feels even more left out now that Blaine has started Junior Roller Derby(which by the way, I think will be as important in her life as Rock Camp).

"THEY" have bled us dry. We are done. I'm boycotting xmas this year. The last straw was when we were at the mall, in Macy's, on NOVEMBER 2ND...and I heard xmas music. I'm done. The commercialism has RUINED it for me. We are getting a small tree, decorating it only with lights, and only getting gifts for Blaine...and even then, we are not going overboard. Blaine and Hubs both think its a great idea. No gifts for every family member, friend and friend's kids, no cards, no decorations outside(except for a plain natural wreath on the front door) no huge, elaborately decorated tree like usual, just a small, potted tree with lights...we are keeping it SIMPLE...Going back to what xmas is supposed to be about...FAMILY. I'm so much more relaxed...I forgot how FUN xmas could be. I think this will be a good thing. We may even do something nice for a local family...maybe xmas dinner or something.

Anyway...thats it for now. Don't feel neglected if the postings are slow...at least I'm posting, right?

Its been almost a year....

Since I started roller derby....
AND
We're FINALLY having OUR FIRST BOUT!!! An exhibition interleague bout...I was picked for the RED team. RED....Like the blood we will spill. We are bouting the PURPLE team. PURPLE....Like the bruises we give them.

Finally. After almost a year of grueling practices....injuries....new and wonderful derby friends.....fundraiser after fundraiser....appearances in parades....write ups in the papers....Finally.

We have one last fundraiser before the bout....



THEN



I'm uber excited!! Giddy, even.

P.S.S.- Choosy Moms

I find this one particularly UN-funny because I have a jar of the tainted peanut butter in MY frige. Its sealed in a bag, awaiting testing, if needed. We are part of the class action suit against Con-Agra. I made PB&Js for my husband and daughter for a couple of months with that crap. It was on sale when I bought it, so I bought a few. We went through a jar, or two, and a half before the recall. Hubs and Blaine were sick, intermittently, for well over two months. I never got sick because I don't eat peanut butter. I feel tremendous guilt for continuing, although unknowingly, to feed my family something tainted, that made them ill. I wondered why the stomch flu was SO pervasive...I insisted that I never got sick because I wash my hands so much, and that they could learn a valuable lesson from me. Little did I know, there was another reason for their illnesses and my apparent good health.

I've never been party in a law suit before and I don't know what to expect from it....I'm just angry that my family was continually made sick, and that every time it was because I made them a sandwich. Now my stomach turns, just thinking about it.

Poison

I realize that last post seems a bit hateful. It is.

A terrible thing to realize about yourself, hatefulness.

I don't like to think of myself that way. Something about the way that man makes me feel...sickening. I've decided that I don't really hate him. I pity him...because he will never know what a great kid Blaine is, because he never gave me a chance. Judged me, merely by the shape I happen to be. We aren't talking mean fat jokes, here. I can handle myself with a fat joke or two. We are talking cruelty. We are talking demeaning comments made, in the presence of others, with no other intent but to hurt me. And what I don't understand is that NOBODY ever questions or corrects him. Its like they are all afraid of him. I bet he tortured animals when he was a child.

Some think I am the one that should avoid him, but that I should not keep Blaine from visiting. But the way I see it, is that he is poison. I would never give my child poison.

I tried getting over it, not letting it bother me. We even visited a couple years ago. But I couldn't handle it. He didn't say anything about me on that visit, but was poisonous just the same...spoke of niggers, spics and fags, said Hubs could have done more with his life...my ears burning every time he opened his foul mouth. It was then, just after dinner, that I packed up our stuff and told Hubs we were leaving...that if his mother wanted to see us, she could visit the hotel where we would be staying. I couldn't have my child in that house another moment.

We haven't been back since. I know it is painful for Hubs' mom, and I am sorry for that. She has an open invitation to visit us anytime she pleases, without her husband. She has yet to take us up on the offer. We talk often on the phone, and I send pictures regularly. But Blaine won't ever really know this grandmother.

It makes me sad.

P.S.S. A little too close to home

I didn't go because I thought you'd be ashamed to be seen with me. I didn't want to embarrass you in front of your relatives. Your stepfather is a cruel little speck on the ass of humanity. You should have stood up for me.

That was then, this is now. Now, I couldn't give a rat fuck what people think of me. But, I will protect my daughter from your stepfather's cruelty. You mother is welcome to visit US, but as long as that man breathes, we will not step foot in his house.