ON HIATUS

Until further notice....

You may have already noticed...life, derby, family, the kid, and my poor time management skills are getting in the way of below average quality blogging, so I'm taking a break...I'll still be around to check up on you all now and then.

It won't be long...I'm sure I'll have something to bitch about soon enough.

What a dick.

If you badmouth something, at least make sure you know what you are talking about.

P.S.S. I know the feeling...all too well.

P.S.S.

Grammy Sarah Shugart 1906 - 2007

I will miss you immensely. You were the coolest old lady I have ever met. I am so grateful to have had you in my life. I'm am most grateful that Blaine got a chance to know and love you, too.

Ha!!

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a secretary and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and dinner cooked.

The second man had married a school teacher . He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a rollergirl. He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher."

3K!!

Our first benefit was a success!

The bands were awesome...even more so, because they did the gig for nothing! I think Neutralboy and Season Of Nightmares are definitely on my list of favorites now. Not just because they rock, but because they are super cool and were very generous to give up a lucrative weekend night to help us out.

The spanking and kissing booth was a huge hit. Although nobody really wanted to kiss the girls....they wanted them to kiss each other. Buttons were given out to those who made donations for the booth. There was a choice of button, depending upon what you had paid for...

"Spanks A Lot!" & "S.W.A.K."(think 8th grade)

The group date auction was wild, with more money generated from the black market sale of dates after the actual auction had ended...."I'll donate an extra hundred bucks, if you trade dates with so & so"... Many of the girls were "won", then promtly put up again by the winning bidder...it was really hilarious.

The night, although a revenue boom for the league, was, personally, a shitty night. Hubs got shitaced drunk, then got pissed at me for what he perceived as neglectful behavior on my part. I was busy running the merch table and noticing that it appeared to be boring him, so I suggested that he go mingle(there were plenty of people there he knew). He took it as though I was trying to get rid of him and he said some loud, drunken, hurtful things. I'm still pissed at him. He hurt my feelings,embarrassed me, and was generally acting like a dick. I hadn't realized that he had drank so much or that the drinks were so strong, because I had only been drinking Skinny Roy Rogers (Diet Coke & grenadine)all night.

He left for work this morning, hung over and out of sorts from the time change. I hope his temples throb all day long.

Best. Eclipse. Picture. Ever.

Mwuhahaha!!!

Poison

I realize that last post seems a bit hateful. It is.

A terrible thing to realize about yourself, hatefulness.

I don't like to think of myself that way. Something about the way that man makes me feel...sickening. I've decided that I don't really hate him. I pity him...because he will never know what a great kid Blaine is, because he never gave me a chance. Judged me, merely by the shape I happen to be. We aren't talking mean fat jokes, here. I can handle myself with a fat joke or two. We are talking cruelty. We are talking demeaning comments made, in the presence of others, with no other intent but to hurt me. And what I don't understand is that NOBODY ever questions or corrects him. Its like they are all afraid of him. I bet he tortured animals when he was a child.

Some think I am the one that should avoid him, but that I should not keep Blaine from visiting. But the way I see it, is that he is poison. I would never give my child poison.

I tried getting over it, not letting it bother me. We even visited a couple years ago. But I couldn't handle it. He didn't say anything about me on that visit, but was poisonous just the same...spoke of niggers, spics and fags, said Hubs could have done more with his life...my ears burning every time he opened his foul mouth. It was then, just after dinner, that I packed up our stuff and told Hubs we were leaving...that if his mother wanted to see us, she could visit the hotel where we would be staying. I couldn't have my child in that house another moment.

We haven't been back since. I know it is painful for Hubs' mom, and I am sorry for that. She has an open invitation to visit us anytime she pleases, without her husband. She has yet to take us up on the offer. We talk often on the phone, and I send pictures regularly. But Blaine won't ever really know this grandmother.

It makes me sad.

P.S.S. A little too close to home

I didn't go because I thought you'd be ashamed to be seen with me. I didn't want to embarrass you in front of your relatives. Your stepfather is a cruel little speck on the ass of humanity. You should have stood up for me.

That was then, this is now. Now, I couldn't give a rat fuck what people think of me. But, I will protect my daughter from your stepfather's cruelty. You mother is welcome to visit US, but as long as that man breathes, we will not step foot in his house.

Ugh.

I'm sick.

Ugh.

My chest is congested and tight. I feel like I'm breathing through a wet sponge. My bones ache to the very core. Every time I cough, my head feels like its cracking open.

This. Fucking. Sucks.

I don't understand why this happened. And keeps on happening. I am more active now than I've been in the last 20 years....I'm eating better than I have in a decade...I don't know of any one person who washes their hands more than I do...Why do I keep getting sick???